"Backdoor Basics" w/ Dr. Ruthie Fri. Jan, 27 @ 6pm $15 - 703.535.8225 to RSVP
"Blow Jobs 101" A Guide to Going Down! Sat. Jan, 21 @ 7pm $15 - 703.535.8225 to RSVP
Look Who's Featured in Cosmo
This month receive 10% when you preorder the Alia by Lelo or the We Vibe II. Items are available for pick up in the store upon arrival or can be shipped directly to your home. You pick your color!
City Girl Chat: The Art of Pleasure
A reader recently asked me
for advice about giving a blow job.
The owners of Lotus Blooms have also fielded similar questions so it
made sense to tackle this query in a post.
As a disclaimer, all guys are obviously not the same and what works for one cock might not work for another. But, I firmly believe that with a little practice, any woman can give a good blow job!
For those of you who try to avoid a BJ like it’s the plague, do your best to change that. (It’s obvious and far from sexy when a woman tries to give a blow job begrudgingly.) Replace that apathy or aversion with genuine enthusiasm. View the act like the art form that it is and try to get into it, instead of regarding it as a “job.”
Employ some mind over matter techniques when it’s time to go down on your man. Whisper in his ears that you want to deep throat his cock before you’ve even taken off his pants. Look up and smile at him as you move down between his legs. Remind yourself that his pleasure is worth it, especially if he believes in reciprocating!
If the smell or taste of your man’s cock is a problem for you, I recommend performing oral sex while you both are in the shower. That ensures that his cock is fresh and clean before you begin.
Another option is to perform head with a mint in your mouth like Kitty L’Amour’s Blow Job Mints. The mint helps to make the cock taste pleasant for you, while providing a tingly sensation for the man. If it’s too difficult to control the mint in your mouth while you give a blow job, you might prefer to use one of Doc Johnson’s Good Head blow job gels. I like the mint flavor since it’s not overpowering. Use the gel sparingly for great taste for you and increased sensations for him.
As you prepare to give a great blow job, what else should you consider?
1. How hot is your guy? You want your guy hot, not warm. You want to feel how hard he is before you even take his pants or his briefs/boxers off. If you can’t tell if he’s really into it, spend more time with his mouth on your mouth or tits, while your hand rubs his cock over his clothes.
2. Wet is better than dry. You know how it feels if you aren’t wet and a guy goes inside you. Well, that works both ways. I like starting with a hand job before I take the cock inside my mouth. A little bit of your saliva in your palm should do the trick to get him very hard and wet.
I love giving blow jobs in the shower since the cock is wet and hard before I even do anything. I’ve found that it works best when my man stands with his back facing the water, and I’m on my knees, facing him.
3. If you aren’t in the shower, find a place that’s comfortable for you both. I’ve given blow jobs with my man on top of me, but that’s never my preference. (I always feel like that jams my neck and I can’t get as much of my mouth on his cock.) I prefer to be sitting between his legs or on my knees in front of him. Those positions give me the best angle and are more comfortable.
4. Tease the cock for a bit. I take my tongue from the bottom of the shaft (the part facing me) all the way to the top – slowly, lingering for an extra couple of seconds where the tip meets the shaft and then again at the very top. Or, I’ll lick my own nipples and take my tits up and down his shaft for a little. Straight guys like boobs, and few will protest a titty massage of their cocks. (When I’m into someone, I don’t tend to want or tease for very long, but let your man’s reaction be your guide.)
5. When my tongue is at the tip (where the hole is) of the cock, I then take the cock slowly and fully into my mouth, pausing a bit before I take in the last inch. Now, here’s what I do that’s different from most, including the method taught by sexpert Lou Paget…
I don’t use the side of my mouth. I use the center so I can have the guy’s cock all the way down my throat. I feel like that gives me better range, more contact with my lips and tongue on his cock, and less chance of teeth mishaps. If you have a very sensitive gag reflex, that mode probably won’t work, though. But, if you haven’t tried that before, why not give it a go?
6. The rhythm of your mouth
going up and down the cock should depend on how your guy is responding (breath,
words, moans and/or what he’s doing with his hands). I like to start with a
slower pace, build up to a faster pace, move on to a slower pace again for just
a minute, and then go for the big finish (jazz hands optional).
A few things to keep in mind:
Take his cock as deep in your mouth as you can as often as you can. When you get to the bottom, stay just like that for a bit before you go back up.
Breathe through your nose so you don’t have to exhale as often. Have you practiced yoga or meditation? Use that experience to your advantage. The more time with his cock in your mouth equates to more pleasure for him.
All hands on cock! Well, maybe not both of them, but at least one. Use your hand to follow your mouth up and down the shaft of the cock. As you go up and down with your mouth, you can also alternate between moving your hand straight up and down the shaft with just gripping the base of the shaft. If balance isn’t a problem for you, take your other hand and gently massage his balls or lick your index finger and rub the sensitive spot between his cock and his ass.
If you are gasping for air, it’s okay to switch things up a bit, but play it off like it’s part of the blow job. (Save the panting and gasping for him, if you can.) Keep your one hand going up and down the cock with a twist of your wrist at the tip. Lick the tip or his balls for a minute until you catch your breath. Or you can use your hand up and down and jerk him off for a few strokes between your tits.
My favorite move is probably taking my man’s cock in my mouth as deep as it can go down the back of my throat, and then as I move my mouth back up, following it with my hand and doing the wrist twist once I get to the tip. (Every guy is different, though, so I hope that you listen and watch his cues, as he does yours.)
Bon(er) Appetit!
City Girl Review: Cleaning A MUST!
I’ve written a lot about sex toys, but I haven’t written much about caring for your sex toys. (And, by “caring,” I’m referring to cleaning.) Proper cleaning of your toys should be viewed as a necessity, not an option!
It’s recommended that you clean your toys before the first use and after each subsequent use. Cleaning is essential for removing bacteria from the products and for prolonging their longevity. If the toy takes batteries, remove the batteries before cleaning and during storage. For toys that you are using by yourself, you can clean them with: Hypoallergenic or mild soap and water; or a toy cleaner spray or wipes such as Mighty Tidy or Play Safe.
Mighty Tidy and Play Safe are designed specifically for cleaning adult toys of any material. Mighty Tidy is a light cleanser that’s free of any harsh detergents. It does contain a fragrance for those of you who like a light scent. If you have a perfume allergy, you might want to choose Play Safe instead. Play Safe is 100% natural and alcohol free, and also wards off certain bacterial infections.
If you are using toys with one or multiple partners, you MUST clean your toys thoroughly after every use with a strong cleaner. (In this case, “strong” doesn’t mean toxic, but rather, a product that is designed to protect against bacteria and infections, including HIV and Hepatitis B.) A DC-area hospital recently had an outbreak of STD cases that were linked to sharing toys. If you aren’t in a monogamous relationship with your partner and you are using toys together, make sure that you clean the toy between individual uses! It’s worth breaking the mood for two minutes to clean the toy before you use it on yourself or your partner, especially as compared to the alternatives! A great cleaner for this purpose is Pjur Med Clean. This gentle spray lotion is alcohol and perfume free. (I’m not a fan of anything in the bedroom that smells like fruit or the perfume counter at a mall so that’s a plus for me.) Pjur Med is also dermatologist-tested and safe for use on your body. And, most importantly, the cleaner is anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral. That means that Pjur Med is powerful enough to guard against STDs and HIV. Toy cleaners are available in sprays or wipes. There seem to be more sprays on the market, but I prefer the wipes since there’s no need to get a tissue or towel to dry the toy off afterward. Pjur Med comes in both a spray bottle and wipes for $15.95. That price is higher than most of the other cleaners out there, but if you are using toys in a non-monogamous relationship, a few dollars more is a small price to pay for peace of mind! It’s important to note that not all cleaners are intended for internal use or as a substitute for a personal wipe. Unless the cleaner explicitly states that it’s body-safe and intended for internal use, don’t use that product on anything other than your toys! Remember to store your toys in a dry location. If the toy came in a box or with a travel satchel, you might want to keep the box or satchel for storage purposes. That will save you from having to clean your toys before each use to get rid of any dust. If you’re in need of a personal cleanser for before or after sex, choose a product that’s free of any potential allergens like parabens. If you have a perfume allergy or find alcohol-based products too harsh for your skin, look for wipes that are higher quality, fragrance-free and natural.Lotus Blooms’ bestselling products in this arena are the discrete and disposable Pleasure Wipes and the Femme Fresh Wipes. Pleasure Wipes are alcohol-free with a soft, clean scent and can be used before or after sex. For those of you who are in need of a wipe before sex, Femme Fresh Wipes will serve your purpose well. They also have the added benefit of root-based libido enhancers for a little extra oomph in the bedroom.
Pjur Med is a clear winner since it is highly effective as a toy and body cleaner. It’s gentle enough for sensitive skin, yet strong enough to protect against HIV. This product gets my full Five Squeals of Approval. It might not be the norm to squeal about cleaners or safety, but pleasure shouldn’t trump hygiene and health!
Keep having fun, but don’t forget to clean those toys, too! xoxo
* Pursuant to FTC Guidelines, I received the aforementioned products free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment.
Happy Hour, October 21st: Seductive Kissing for Couples
City Girl Review: Let's Talk About....Safe Sex.
In my previous post, I wrote about how to broach condom use without ruining the mood. Now, let’s get to the nuts and bolts (pun intended) of shopping for condoms!
What should you consider when buying condoms?
A latex rubber condom provides protection against pregnancy, HIV/AIDS and STDs. Choose latex, unless you have a rubber allergy. A lubricated condom is often preferable to heighten the experience. If you pick an unlubricated condom for a tighter fit and need to add your own lubricant over the condom, steer clear of oil-based liquids since oil weakens the effectiveness of condoms.
For those of you with latex allergies, there are polyurethane and animal skin condoms. (No, lambskin condoms are not actually made with animal skin.) Those types of condoms are thinner and allow for more warmth and sensation than latex condoms, but they do NOT prevent against HIV/AIDS and STDs. As a result, it’s not recommended to use these condoms unless you’re in a monogamous relationship.
What condoms should you purchase?
If you’re making your first condom purchase, you might care to try a Variety Pack from Trojan to sample several different types. For those of you who are able to visit Lotus Blooms or order condoms online, it’s worth picking up one of the boutique’s bestsellers: RFSU and One.
RFSU condoms are made by the Swedish Association for Sexuality Education and are found throughout Europe. RFSU is about more than just condoms, though, as the organization focuses on sex information, advocacy and education on an international scale. RFSU’s condoms are made of soft and silky, yet durable, latex with silicone lubricant. The condoms come in a rectangular package that’s about half the size of a traditional square condom.
Despite the snug fit, the Classic Select is thin. The condom is also purer and has been safely treated so it doesn’t contain any of that unpleasant latex odor. My man enjoyed the experience, even commenting that he could feel how wet and warm my pussy was while wearing the condom. I wasn’t as fond of the Classic Select, though, since I wasn’t able to orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
If it’s easier for you to purchase condoms at your local drugstore than online or at Lotus Blooms, I also recommend the Trojan Ecstasy. I received samples of the Ultra-Ribbed Ecstasy at a conference for sex educators earlier this summer. I loved the condom so much that I gave several to a friend.
What’s so great about the Ecstasy? The amazing G-Spot stimulating ridges on the outside! I have never cum so much with a condom and without clitoral stimulation than when my man has worn the Ecstasy. The latex feels sheer and smooth in a way that’s not the norm for condoms. The condom is also shaped with a rounder head (rather than the tapered tip) and tighter base. Since it’s looser on the shaft, it provides a less constricting experience for the man.
I don’t feel right ranking condoms because I would hate for a reader to refuse to use a condom because of my review of a particular brand. So, I’ll give out my Condom Superlatives instead.
Best for G-Spot Stimulation: The Trojan Ecstasy
Best for a Natural Fit: The Trojan Ecstasy
Best for Feeling Heat and Wetness: One Classic Select
Try one. Try all. Just be safe. xoxo
City Girl Chat: Wrapping It Up (May 2010 re-post)
I recently received the following question on Formspring:
I have had unprotected sex a couple of times, and I know it’s a bad idea for the future. How do you bring it up without ruining the mood? Also, who should carry the condoms: the man or the woman? (I don’t know how to pick them out since each guy is different.)
To state the obvious, few people enjoy using condoms. But, there is a key difference between wanting to use a condom and needing to use a condom. Unless you and your boyfriend are in a monogamous relationship and have both been tested for HIV and STDs, he should be wearing a condom each and every time you have sex. (I’m sure I’m not telling you anything that you don’t know, but it can’t hurt to be reminded again.)
Since you have had unprotected sex, have you made an appointment to get tested yet? If not, I recommend doing so in the near future. Most major health insurance companies cover an HIV test as part of your annual physical, and you can be tested for STDs at your annual OB/GYN appointment. If you are attending college, confirm that you can get tested at your school’s health center. If your school doesn’t offer those services, then check online to find out where the nearest Planned Parenthood or women’s center is.
Since you don’t care to have unprotected sex in the future, how can you bring up the topic without ruining the mood? Well, that depends on the nature of the relationship:
1. A one-night stand or more casual relationship. You aren’t seriously dating anyone and are meeting your girlfriends for drinks. You’re open to wherever the evening takes you if you meet a fine guy or receive a text from Mr. Right Now.
Be prepared before you leave the house. Buy a cute condom compact and a box of condoms. Keep the box at your house and before you go out for the evening, place a few condoms in the compact. Throw the compact in your purse along with your keys, phone and lip gloss, and you’re ready to go!
Prior to having sex, I imagine that the guy will reach for a condom. If he doesn’t say or do anything, put your hands on his face and look into his eyes as you say:
I want you inside me. Do you have a condom?
(If you like to talk dirty, feel free to substitute the first line with any variation of “I want to fuck you.”)
If he has a condom, then let him use whatever condom he prefers. If he doesn’t have one, then you can reach over and grab a condom out of your purse. It doesn’t need to ruin the mood since using a condom is a means to a hopefully enjoyable end! If the mention of the word, “condom,” makes the guy less excited (as in, less hard), then take a few minutes to get him just how you want him before he puts on the condom.
Most guys in this day and age should realize that it’s dangerous to have unprotected sex. But, there are still those guys who will break out a line to try to convince you otherwise. Be prepared with your responses. For example:
Guy: I’ll just put the tip in.
Girl: We both know where that will lead.
Guy: I can’t feel anything with a condom.
Girl: I bet you will. I’m very wet.
Guy: I don’t want to use a condom.
Girl: We can just mess around without having sex, but wouldn’t sex be more fun?
Guy: Aren’t you on the pill?
Girl: That’s not the point. We don’t know each other well enough to go raw.
You can use whatever words you wish to get the point across. Just know your limits and stick to them.
With respect to ruining the mood, I would try to reframe your thoughts on that. Using a condom when you have sex should be viewed as Standard Operating Procedure, not a buzz kill. Unless you and the guy are in a monogamous relationship and have both been tested, then the risks of not using a condom FAR outweigh the 60 seconds it takes to bring it up and put one on. (Please realize how much of an understatement this is and that I could go on and on about how testing positive for HIV or dealing with an unplanned pregnancy could really ruin the mood.) Just view using a condom as a normal part of the routine of having sex.
What condoms should you buy? You could buy a Variety Pack from Durex or Trojan or pick a lubricated, latex condom that you like. Choose latex over lambskin since lambskin does not prevent again STDs.
If you want to cover all your bases, you can also pick up a box of Trojan Magnums for larger men and throw one of those condoms in the compact. Trojan’s bestseller is the lubricated, ultra-thin ENZ condom, but the company recently came out with an ultra-ribbed Ecstasy condom. (The Ecstasy claims to let you feel all of the pleasure without feeling the condom. Has anyone tried one of these condoms? What was your experience? Please comment – anonymously if need be – and let us know.)
2. If you’re in a relationship, then the topic of condoms becomes part of a larger discussion of past sexual history and birth control. I think it’s easier to have those discussions out of the bedroom so that there’s less pressure. But, if you prefer to have that conversation in the bedroom, that’s fine, too. (It’s more important that you talk about it than where you talk about it.)
If you care about this person, then it’s worth communicating about the following things:
Are you using condoms for birth control and STD/HIV prevention or just the latter?
What condom does he like best? Will he be providing them or do you need to stock up, too?
Will you be using condoms in the early stage of your relationship with the intent to get tested later on?
Are you both monogamous?
Can you orgasm with condoms or will you need additional clitoral stimulation?
You might address all these issues in one fell swoop or discuss these matters over time. If you are in a relationship with someone, then it’s appropriate and necessary to broach all of these topics. Just remember that communication and honesty are keys to a healthy relationship in all senses of the word!
Have fun and be safe! xoxo
City Girl Review: Ahh...The InnerVibe Toys
Have you wanted to buy your first sex toy for couple’s use, but didn’t know where to start?
Do the higher prices of body-friendly adult products turn you more off than on? [Do you like your toys to be waterproof?
Do you need a product that’s inexpensive and portable for a weekend getaway?
Are you looking for a toy for one-time use that’s disposable?
If you’ve answered “Yes” to any of those questions, then let me have the pleasure of introducing you to Innervibe and its products!
Established in 2004, Innervibe is a US toy company with a commitment to promoting sensuality and passion. Innervibe products are made with a phthalate-free elastomer known as Opulux. Opulux is body-friendly and non-toxic, and the exclusive material feels very smooth to the touch.
Lotus Blooms offers three Innervibe toys:
The Nanovibe personal massager 
The Duet Double Pleasure vibrating cock ring 
All of the products are body-safe, stretchy, waterproof, powerful, disposable and economical. “How economical?” you might be wondering. The most expensive of the three products, the Duet Double Pleasure, is only $12.95. Sex toys are rarely good for your body and your budget, but these are the exception!
What are the differences between the three products?
The Nanovibe is a tiny finger massager that can be used by women or couples. Remove the plastic tube from the inside of the toy and slip the tip of your finger in it. (When I say the tip, I really mean just the tip. If you put it past your nail bed, it will feel uncomfortable on your finger.) Using a finger from your other hand, press the bottom of the vibrating insert inside of the personal massager to start the toy. You’ll need to press and hold it firmly for several seconds so that it turns on and stays on. Then, take your finger and place the Nanovibe on top of your clit and feel how strong the vibrations are. You can use the toy by yourself, in the shower or bath, or with a partner. I found it most effective for added clitoral stimulation during intercourse. My man placed the Nanovibe on the tip of his finger and then on my clit while he was on top of me, thrusting. The Nanovibe’s vibrations on my clit definitely heightened the sexual experience for me!
The 2.0 vibrating cock ring and the Duet Double vibrating cock ring are great for couple’s use. When you take the ring out of the package, don’t be concerned about the size. The ring looks small, but when you pull it with both hands, you’ll realize how stretchy it is and how large it can expand. The vibrating core inside both rings operates in the same manner as the vibrator inside the Nanovibe so remember to press the core firmly and hold for a few seconds.
With the 2.0 cock ring, you can position the side with the vibrating core facing up and away from the shaft for clitoral stimulation during sex. Or, you can switch the ring so that the vibrating core is facing down away from the shaft to pulsate against the man’s balls and the woman’s ass during sex. I found it especially pleasurable for clitoral stimulation when I was on top or when my man was behind me in a doggy-style position.
The Duet Double ring has the added advantage that the clit, balls and anus can be stimulated simultaneously. You don’t have to decide which way to position the vibrating core since the Duet Double ring contains one vibrating core on the top of the toy and a second core on the bottom. For only $2.95 more, why not maximize your pleasure with the Duet Double ring?
The cock rings can be used with or without condoms. If you require lubrication, stick to water-based lubricant that won’t interfere with the medical-grade silicone that’s used in Innervibe’s products.
What didn’t I like about the Innervibe toys that I tried?
Innervibe’s strength is also its weakness since its products are designed for one-time use. After 30 minutes, the vibrations just stopped. We kept playing with the cock ring for another 10 minutes and got a little more juice out of it, but by that point, the ring had lost much of its power. Moving the ring after it’s positioned can be uncomfortable for the man. Lotion, or soap and water can be helpful to remove the ring when you’re finished without irritating the skin.
Who should consider purchasing an Innervibe product?
Innervibe’s toys are great for both first-timers and regular toy users. If you aren’t sure whether you’d like to invest in a more expensive toy, Innervibe provides an easy way to dip your…umm, feet?...in the adult toy waters.
Innervibe products are also great if you engage in sex with more than one partner and like to bring toys into the mix. You won’t have to worry about breaking out your toy cleaner having sex. Instead, you can just break out a different, inexpensive toy with each partner, and dispose of the toy when you’re done.
For those of you who like a toy that’s portable and easy to bring on trips, Innervibe products come in a small packet that fits in the palm of your hand. They are perfect for travel!
The vibrations are strong, the materials are soft and body-friendly, and the price is beyond right. The only negative to Innervibe’s products is that they only last for 30 minutes. But, if a toy can get me off more than once in 30 minutes, then I can only complain so much ;).
Four (very enthusiastic) Squeals! xoxo
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
City Girl's Take on Phthalates in Sex Toys
Question: What is the most popular sex toy for women?
Answer: [So…did you venture a guess yet?]
My answer would be: The Rabbit Pearl vibrator.
It’s low on price and high on power. The toy gets the job done, whether a girl is interested in finding her G-Spot or achieving a clitoral orgasm with a vibrator inside of her. If you go to any adult toy website, there’s inevitably a variation of The Rabbit hopping around on the page of Bestselling Products.
But, what if your favorite little — or not so little, as the case may be — bunny wasn’t healthy for you?
I hadn’t thought about the health risks of sex toys until a lunch with Dr. Ruthie this week.
“Who’s Dr. Ruthie?” you might be wondering.
Well, she’s a sex educator and coach. (As an aside, she and I are
planning to host workshops together in the coming months. If you’re in
the DC area, stay tuned for more details on my blog and Twitter. And,
fear not, you out-of-towners, we’ve also talked about holding virtual
workshops via U-Stream.) She works closely with the Ladies of Lotus Blooms.
Anyway, when you get one sex coach and one sex blogger in the room, the subject naturally turns to…sex! We started discussing sex toys and product reviews, and Dr. Ruthie mentioned that a lot of jelly-like vibrators on the market contain phthalates.
“What’s a phthalate?” you might be asking like I was.
It’s an oil-based chemical that is used to soften plastic. According to a Greenpeace-TNO study, phthalates, also known as PVC, have been linked to liver and kidney damage, testicular problems in boys, and cervical cancer, infertility and birth defects in women. The study found that even minimal exposure to phthalates can be harmful and that certain sex toys contain an inordinate amount of this chemical inside of them.
What’s in your toy arsenal? A Rabbit? A jelly-soft vibrator? A small cute plastic Dolphin or Snail that stimulates your clitoris? Do you know whether any of your toys contain phthalates?
I have to be honest with you that I don’t. There are a lot of products in my toy drawer, and quite a few of them are made with a jelly-like rubber material because that feels better. But, I’ve now learned that soft to the touch might not equal good for my body! The study estimates that 60% of the ingredients in The Rabbit are toxic and linked to birth defects and cancer. 60%!
Will I use a toy from hereon forward without knowing if it is phthalate-free? HELL NO!!! It’s simply not worth the risk to me, and I hope that you feel the same about your own body and health.
“Why are these items even on the store?”
Well, sex toys are viewed as novelty items, and thus, they aren’t subject to government regulations. Government agencies have banned the use of phthalates in children’s toys, but there’s no body with jurisdictions over the use of the same toxic chemicals in sex toys.
The fact that the sex toy industry isn’t regulated frustrates me on several levels. It’s 2010, and yet, we still live in a Puritanical society. The government doesn’t want to involve itself in sex toys, and some states, like Alabama, ban the sale of sex toys completely. The lack of regulations of the sex toy industry:
1. Perpetuates the misperception that the use of sex toys is unhealthy;
2. Ignores the reality that people are purchasing and using adult toys;
3. Ensures that toys are sold without safety issues in mind. From a
health perspective, it should be the norm, and not the exception, that
sex toys are made without carcinogens or other harmful ingredients; and
4. Prevents distributors and stores from properly educating consumers
about products upon request without fear of criminal penalties or losing
their business licenses.
It crossed my mind that the sex toy industry caters to gay males and females. If heterosexual men were the largest consumers of adult toys, would regulators have responded differently to the Greenpeace-TNO study? Why are women’s health issues consistently marginalized by the government and medical professionals? Why are gay men’s sexual practices viewed as deviant? If straight men were using The Rabbit, do any of us really think that 60% of the ingredients used to make that toy would be toxic?
Why haven’t we, as consumers, been better informed about the possibility that products that we put inside of us might be harmful? I’m mad, and I hope that you are, too. As an avid user and advocate of sex toys, I’m shocked that the first that I heard of this was a casual comment with a new friend over lunch. Sexual exploration is healthy and normal, but we shouldn’t have to do it with fear that fun with a toy today could lead to serious health risks down the road.
I don’t know that a few readers can make a difference in overturning centuries of American views on sex and sexuality. (But, if you have any suggestions, I’m all ears.)
For now, invest in a good-quality sex toy that is free of phthalates/PVC! Read the packaging, and take the time to Google, e-mail a vendor, or ask a salesperson if you are unsure about a given product. The President of Tantus Silicone wrote a great post about this issue. She cautions that if you open a sex toy, and there’s a noxious odor, that’s the smell of phthalate. No one likes to waste money, but is it better to throw out a product without using it than risk your health? I sure think so.
Better sex toys tend to cost more, but you can do your homework. The
company that designs The Rabbit has also come out with a phthalate-free version. If you are willing to invest in a top of the line sex toy, check out Lelo or Fun Factory
products since they are the crème de la crème of the industry and
designed with your both your pleasure and your health in mind. Both brands are available on the Lotus Blooms store on-line or just stop by their boutique. All of their toys are phthalate-free.
I’ve ended a post in the past, advising you to “be safe and have fun.” Today, I’ll just say:
Be Safe.
Whether I know you or I’ve never met you, I care. Hope you’ll spread the word along with me. xoxo
Thursday, August 19th: FREE Happy Hour
City Girl Review: Where is YOUR LAYA?
What’s good about the Laya Spot?
The Laya Spot is made of silky smooth elastomer. It’s soft to the touch and compatible with any kind of lubricant.
What didn’t I like about the Laya Spot?
The shape. Fun Factory claims that the design is ergonomically friendly. I found it awkward and uncomfortable. The tip of the Laya Spot is bulbous and doesn’t maximize sensations. I tried the toy on two separate occasions. It was difficult to hold if I was on my stomach – so much so that the bottom of the Laya Spot kept detaching, thereby turning the toy off. On my back, the product didn’t rest on my clit comfortably. No matter how I positioned the toy, it wasn’t pleasurable for more than a few minutes;
Its limitations. The Laya Spot is for external, clitoral use only. It’s not meant for vaginal or anal use. There are toys that aren’t designed for internal use, but still can be used inside your pussy or anus. The Laya just isn’t one of them. If your man enjoys light vibrations on his balls or perineum during oral sex or a hand job, then you can try using the Laya Spot in that capacity. Beyond that, though, you and your partner are out of luck;
Bad vibrations. In my hand, the toy felt powerful. But, on my clit, I remembered that the toy only holds two AAA batteries. Before testing out the Laya Spot for the second time, I purposely didn’t masturbate for three days and left my strong toy in the drawer for a week. I had hoped that would help maximize my experience with the Laya Spot. However, despite my prior planning, the product did not deliver – even on its highest vibrations. (One reviewer claimed that the Laya Spot has 2/3 of the power of the Hitachi Magic Wand. I’m rolling my eyes at that statement!) Try though I did, it was impossible for me to orgasm from the Laya Spot.
Who might enjoy the Laya Spot? (Emphasis on “might.”)
A first-time toy user or a couple bringing a toy into the bedroom for the first time or a person who only uses sex toys in the water.
The Laya Spot retails for $65.90. I just can’t justify recommending that you spend that much for this product. There are other smaller massage toys that are more economical and versatile such as the Bcute Curve. There are also stellar products that can satisfy newbies, couples, long-time toy users and women with vaginal pain issues such as the Lelo Mia which I reviewed last week.
Personally, I’d give the Laya Spot One Squeal. If you’re a sex toy beginner or water lover, then I’ll go up to Two Squeals. But, imagine those squeals as very wimpy.
Buh baya, Laya! xoxo
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
City Girl Review: Lipstick Wonder: Lelo Mia
When it comes to sex toys, products by Lelo do not disappoint! I’ve written about the virtues of the Lelo Elise before, and now, I’d like to introduce you to the Lelo Mia.
The Elise is large and powerful, while the Mia is small and discreet. I usually associate size with intensity, but that’s not the case here. Although the Mia is slightly larger than a lipstick, it packs quite the punch! This is the rare toy that can satisfy a newbie, an experienced toy user, and women with vaginal pain or other health issues.
Lotus Blooms recommends the Mia more than any other product for first-time toy users, women recouping from surgery, and women with vaginal pain disorders. Its tiny size makes it comfortable to insert, and the lowest vibrations won’t overwhelm beginners or cause pain for those with health concerns.
One end of the toy is rounded, and the other end is flat. The flat side of the Mia is optimal for clitoral use or massaging the lips of your pussy. The rounded end is better for inserting into your pussy or anus.
The Mia has seven levels of intensity, and you can press the positive sign (+) to increase the power as needed. After the seventh press, you can continue to touch the positive sign up to four more times to change the levels of pulsations. The pulsations vary from constant to intermittent to whirring, making this a very versatile product! To decrease the intensity or vary the pulsations, just press the negative (-) sign. To turn the product off, press firmly between the positive and the negative sign and hold for several seconds.
On the strongest vibrations, the Mia is powerful! I use a lot of toys on a regular basis so smaller toys don’t usually satisfy me. But, this one on the highest vibration did – several times, in fact ;)!
What are other pluses about the Mia?
*As is the case with all Lelo products, it’s made with all body-friendly materials.
*It’s rechargeable and discreet. You charge the Mia through your computer’s USB port! (Yes, you read that correctly!) A two-hour charge provides over three hours of pleasure!
*You can pop the toy in the satin pouch that comes with the product and take it with you anywhere. The Mia doesn’t look like a sex toy and anyone who happens to see it will just think you have the coolest flash drive around!
*The Mia is very quiet, even on the strongest vibration. No one will know that you’re using this toy, unless you want him or her to know!
*This product is versatile, too. I used it on my partner during oral sex and when he tried the Fleshlight. Since the toy isn’t designed for anal use, please be careful if you insert the toy into your own anus or that of your partner. Go slowly and use a tight grip to ensure that the toy doesn’t get stuck inside. Once it’s inserted properly, you can move it up and down or in a circular motion as foreplay or for a great anal orgasm!
Three tips about the Mia:
Don’t use silicone lubricant on this toy since that will negatively affect the texture;
Don’t use this toy in the water. It’s not waterproof; and
Hold the toy tightly when you insert the rounded end inside since after regular use, the two pieces might occasionally separate.
How does the Lelo Mia rank on my City Girl Squeals Chart?
I have to give the Mia a full Five Squeals! For $64, Lelo designed a toy for everyone! Pick one up, and you’ll be glad you did! Oh, and the best tip of this post:
If you head to Lotus Blooms and mention “City Girl,” you’ll get 10% off of all your purchases!
xoxo
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very Good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
In accordance with FTC Guidelines, I received the Lelo Mia free of charge in exchange for my honest review of the product.
City Girl Review: Fun Factory Delight
(Repost from City Girl Review-Somewhat Delightful, May 9, 2010)
The little guy had served me well. We had spent many a magical night together, but I had started to get bored with our old routine.
It was time for a change, a new beginning. I was ready to say goodbye…To my Rabbit.
It was time to purchase a top-of-the-line sex toy. I wanted a toy that would provide great G-Spot stimulation, but was a better quality product than the Rabbit. I was torn between Lelo’s Iris and Fun Factory’s Delight.
The women at Lotus Blooms recommend both brands because of the caliber of their products. I chose Fun Factory’s Delight since that toy also provides clitoral stimulation. The Delight is made from 100% Medical Grade silicone so it’s good for your skin and your body. (Phthalate-free is the only way to be!)
The Delight comes in a carrying case with an external charger. There are no batteries required, which is a huge plus! The case is so discreet that you’d expect to find a pair of sunglasses inside.
The Delight is available in black and white or pink. I chose pink since it seemed feminine. I also felt like the shape in black and white reminded me of a small whale, which just isn’t sexy to me.
The toy is S-shaped so that you can easily insert it so it hits the G-Spot just so. It was made with ergonomics in mind so can grip the toy with your index finger and thumb. You then move your thumb on the top of the toy to operate the controls.
There is a positive sign and a negative sign where your thumb rests, and the control panel illuminates when touched. You may need to touch the positive sign up to four times in a row before the toy turns on. (For those of us who expect instant gratification, it helps to know that in advance to avoid getting frustrated. When I first used the toy and couldn’t figure out how to turn it on, I was cursing at it for a few seconds. That’s never fun!)
The Delight has eight (8) speeds. Press the positive sign to increase the intensity and the negative sign to decrease. Once the toy has been on for a few minutes, you can then continue to press the positive sign to change from constant vibrations to varying speeds.
It’s most comfortable to use the toy if you are lying on your back or on sitting on a couch with your head and back upright and your legs out in front of you. Feel free to experiment on your own, but it was awkward to use the toy face down.
This toy features an added piece of silicone for clitoral stimulation. However, one size does not fit all! I had a hard time positioning the toy on my G-Spot and my clit simultaneously. I wondered if that was just how my body is shaped, but a friend who owns the Delight had the exact same problem. The product can give amazing G-Spot orgasms and is sleeker than most adult toys. But, I wouldn’t pitch the Delight as dual-purpose since the clitoral stimulation is minimal at best.
The toy is very quiet and doesn’t look like your typical, dildo-shaped vibrator. (That’s a plus for those of you who don’t want to wake up roommates, kids, parents or significant others.) The Delight is also aesthetically-pleasing and wouldn’t be intimidating to pull into the bedroom for use with your partner.
There is one big negative to the product, though, and that’s the price! The Delight costs a WHOPPING $129 or more, depending on the vendor. (The women at Lotus Blooms caution against purchasing toys at a significantly-reduced rate, noting that they might be refurbished or knock-offs. Amazon also warns against this, too.)
The Delight was the first toy that I paid more than three figures for so my expectations were higher. I wanted more bang since I shelled out so many bucks. And, I have to say that the Delight came up short. Fun Factory’s Delight is a great toy for finding your G-Spot, but the toy has gathered a lot more dust than… ;).
How do I rate this? City Girl gives it 3 squeals. It's a good toy, but far from delightful ;)
xoxo
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very Good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
Pursuant to FTC Regulations, I received the Fun Factory Delight free of charge in exchange for my honest assessment of the product.
Happy Hour: July 29th: Free Admission
City Girl Review: The Man's Toy-The Fleshlight
A couple was expecting twins. The husband wanted sex, but the wife felt too uncomfortable for any bedroom activities. Frustrated, the husband went into his garage for some privacy. His eyes gazed across his wall of tools and stopped on a large flashlight. He had an idea – some masturbation inspiration, if you will – and the Fleshlight was born!
With more than three million Fleshlights sold, this is the best-selling masturbatory toy for men on the market! The photo doesn’t do the product justice. I imagined that it would be comparable in size to a small flashlight, but this toy is large like an industrial-sized flashlight. The case is hard, black plastic, and the product resembles a tool that you would find in a man’s garage. The soft sleeve inside is 10” long and 4” wide.
The top of the original Fleshlight is designed to look and feel like a woman’s pussy, but there are also models to replicate an ass or a mouth. The sleeves are available in pink or mocha. For those of you who fear that someone might open the case, there’s a stealth version that looks the most like a real flashlight. If you prefer an extra tight sleeve or more intense, ribbed sensations, then you can order one of textured models. For men who enjoy the visual of watching themselves masturbate or are dating women who like that, there’s a clear model.
Now, I’m like a guy when it comes to reading – or rather, not reading – instructions, but be sure to read the pamphlet that comes with your Fleshlight before using it. You’ll need to soak the sleeve in water before you use it and follow the directions for cleaning the product afterward to ensure that your Fleshlight lasts for a long time!
You also should have some water-based lubricant handy, and it’s recommended to use cornstarch on the product after cleaning. Do NOT use silicone-based lubricant, talc or baby powder on or in the Fleshlight!
I broke out the pink pussy model with the original sleeve texture for my man. The top of the toy really looks like a pussy with thin lips and a clitoris. The feel is soft to the touch and just a bit sticky. (For those of you who have read my post about toxic ingredients like phthalates in sex toys, you can exhale because the Fleshlight is phthalate-free.) The top of the sleeve is substantial enough to feel durable, but the material has give to it.
For my man’s first experience with a gentleman’s product, I happened to be in bed with him. He took off the top of the case and applied water-based lubricant to the inside of the sleeve and his cock. He then laid down on the bed, spread his legs slightly, placed his cock inside of the Fleshlight, and moved it up and down. I focused on kissing him, massaging his balls and using the Lelo Mia [Link] on the tip of his anus, while he masturbated.
The Fleshlight provides a lot of suction, and there’s a subtle whistling noise from the product going up and down the cock. The cap on the base on the toy can be adjusted to make the suction tighter or looser, depending on your preference. If you like vibrations, you can stick a small bullet or vibrator up the sleeve through the base of the toy. The Fleshlight can also be used to help a guy build up his stamina in the bedroom.
My man used the toy for about 20 minutes before we had sex. When we were finished, I asked for his thoughts about the Fleshlight:
Man: At first, it was weird. Then it was good. And, then it was weird again.
Me: Does it feel like a pussy?
Man: Of course not.
It crossed my mind that he might have found it a weird experience to use the toy with me in the room. He wasn’t self-conscious, but he also knew that the Fleshlight was for foreplay, rather than for getting off. If he had been alone, I’m betting that he would have enjoyed the toy much more.
How does the Fleshlight fare?
For couple’s use, we gave it 3 Squeals since it definitely was a nice variation to traditional foreplay. The Fleshlight kept my man’s interest and kept his cock hard and excited with me lying naked next to him. (That says something!) My man has yet to try the Fleshlight for solo use, but I have to think that the product would garner at least one extra squeal out of him.
Try it out and let me know what you guys think! The Fleshlight is available at the Lotus Blooms boutique located at 1017 King Street Alexandria, VA 22314. If you are not local, call their store at 703-535-8225 and one of their associates will gladly ship it to you.
xoxo
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very Good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
City Girl Review: The Lelo Elite Elise
When it comes to sex toys, Lelo products are the crème de la crème! The Swedish company was established in 2003 with one key objective: to create sex toys of better quality, function, and design than any others on the market. After trying out the Lelo Elise for the past two weeks, I say: Mission Accomplished! It's comforting to know that Lotus Blooms is a certified LELO dealer here in the DC metropolitan area.
No batteries required! As is the norm for Lelo products, the Elise is rechargeable. A two-hour charge guarantees you four-hours of fun;
This toy is very quiet, even at its highest vibrations. You won’t have to worry about anyone knowing what you are up to;
It’s intense. Correction, very intense. Whether on your clit or inside for G-Spot stimulation, the Elise will have you orgasming every single time. There’s a reason why this is Lelo’s premier product;
The Elise isn’t designed for anal use. Nonetheless, this toy is very popular with male customers at Lotus Blooms. Guys and girls, if you are trying the Elise in your ass, please keep a strong grip on the base of the toy so that it doesn’t get lost inside you! Or, ask your partner to lend a hand ;).
I found the controls to be confusing. How confusing? I had to break out the instruction manual to actually figure out what the buttons meant.
The circle on the bottom of the Elise has four markings. If you’re not a fan of instruction manuals, the + sign at 3 o’clock on the circle turns the vibrator on.
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
Bswish Bcute-City Girl's Review
I was excited to learn that Lotus Blooms carries Bswish sex toys. Bswish boasts products that are chic, functional and attractive. Think pretty packaging, sleek designs and hot colors. More importantly, Bswish toys are also:
Body-friendly. I can’t tell you whether the use of toxic ingredients like phthalates in sex toys will cause you health problems down the road. I can only tell you that I don’t care to take any chances when it comes to my health, and I’m not reviewing any products from hereon forward that might hurt my body or your body. Lotus Blooms is committed to only selling products that are made from safe, healthy ingredients. I take comfort in that fact and hope that you do, too;
Waterproof. You never know when you want to take your toy into the shower or bath with you, right? It helps to be versatile, and you can get all but two Bswish products wet; and
Affordable. The company’s products range in price from $25 to $80. It’s great to find a company with body-friendly products that are also budget-friendly!
I decided to try one of Lotus Bloom’s bestsellers – the Bswish Bcute. There are three Bcute products: the Classic , the Pearl and the Curve.
Both toys are silicone, waterproof and 3” in length. The Classic is straight and slightly narrower at the tip. 
The Curve, as one might guess by the name, has a pronounced curve at the end that’s designed to reach your G-Spot. 
The Pearl offers a ribbed shaft for extra sensation. 
All three, the Classic, the Pearl and the Curve take one (1) AA battery and are multi-speed. And, the Bcutes are very economical at only $25 per toy!
In the good column, the toy is incredibly quiet. That’s a huge plus for those of us who don’t want everyone and their mother knowing what’s going on in our bedroom or bathroom.
In the bad column, the toy is weak. I wondered how much power one AA battery could provide, and the answer is: not much at all. As I turned the toy from low to high speed, it shut off. I tried it again before using it and encountered the same problem. Sometimes, I could twist the bottom of the toy and it would stay on, operating as intended. But, that wasn’t always the case.
On numerous occasions, the Bcute would be working fine, and then the vibrations would just stop. If I held the tip of the toy the entire time, the toy would stay on more consistently…before it turned off. A vibrating sex toy needs to vibrate so I found this problem to be seriously annoying. (Talking dirty and using curse words in bed with a partner can be hot. Cursing at a sex toy when you’re in bed alone is not hot!)
When I used the toy, I found it to be less than stellar. Aside from the “why won’t this thing stay on?” issue, the Bcute simply wasn’t strong enough for me. Clitoral orgasm? Nope. G-Spot orgasm? Nope. My G-Spot was definitely more pronounced after having this toy on or inside me for 30(!) minutes, but I still didn’t cum. Frustrated, I put the Bcute down and finished myself off with my Fun Factory Delight.
The second time I used the toy was with a partner. He had never used a toy on his perineum -- the sensitive spot between the base of the balls and the top of the anus -- or the edge of his asshole. I applied a generous amount of Sliquid Organics water-based lubricant to the toy. (Since the Bcute is silicone, it’s recommended to use a lubricant that’s not silicone-based.) Next, I placed the toy gently on his perineum and on the rim of his ass. I had to hold onto the toy tightly so that I could easily turn it back on when it mysteriously stopped vibrating. I also kept a strong grip on the Bcute since it’s not designed for anal use. (If the bottom of a toy isn’t larger than the top of the toy, it’s not advised to use the toy in your anus. If you care to try, make sure you hold on tightly so that it doesn’t slip and get lost inside you!)
My partner loved the Bcute Curve and its subtle vibrations. He didn’t have a problem with the product’s lack of power or the fact that the toy’s vibrations weren’t consistent. That got me thinking…
The Bcute is clearly not a product for an experienced toy user, but for whom might it be a good choice?
A first-timer toy user. This toy doesn’t look, sound or feel intimidating. It’s inexpensive, waterproof, versatile and body-friendly. And, from what I witnessed, the first time can be a charm with this toy!
A couple bringing a toy into the bedroom for the first time. The toy is quiet and small with a pleasing shape. It’s not threatening in the slightest, and the Bcute has the potential to enhance sex. Place the Curve on your woman’s G-Spot or on the edge of her anus during oral. Use the Curve or Classic to enhance rimming or a blow job. Or, try the Classic in different spots on your partner during sex. The toy might not make an avid toy user cum, but it still has the ability to increase the sensations during oral, anal and vaginal sex.
A woman with vaginal pain issues. If you have pain during intercourse, please see a health care professional who specializes in treating women with vaginal pain. (It is NOT all in your head or just something that you need to tolerate.) If your doctor recommends using a dilator or small toy to stretch the vaginal muscles, the Bcute Classic – with or without vibrations -- might be a good first or second toy for that.
So, how many squeals does the Bcute Curve get from me?
For personal use, I’d give this product the dreaded 1 Squeal. But, based on my partner’s take on the Bcute Curve, a novice toy user would rank it at a solid 3 Squeals. I’ll average the two for 2 Squeals, but I’m never using this toy on my body again.
Sorry, Bcute. xoxo
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average/Good. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
Note: Pursuant to FTC regulations, I received this product free of charge in exchange for my participation in a survey at the AASECT conference.
Very Smart Balls-City Girl's Review
While I was at a conference for sex educators earlier this month, I was thrilled to see that Fun Factory had a representative in the exhibition hall.
“What’s Fun Factory?” you might be asking.
Fun Factory is a German sex toy company known for its aesthetically pleasing and top performing products! If you purchase a Fun Factory toy, you can also take comfort in the fact that the item is high quality, and free of toxic ingredients and allergens. The Fun Factory representative provided me with the Smart Balls Teneo Duo.
I looked at the two weighted balls and envisioned a lot of anal pleasure to be had. So, imagine my dismay, when the representative indicated that the balls are only for vaginal use. (Where's the fun in that?)
The box indicates that the toy helps strengthen vaginal muscles. Midwives recommend Smart Balls to women after pregnancy, and they are also used as a substitute or conduit for Kegel exercises. The goal here is to tighten the pelvic floor muscles, which in turn, increases pleasure during sex.
As I read about the toy in my hotel room, I rolled my eyes. I really wasn’t in the market for a toy to tighten my pussy. I figured that the Smart Balls would get used once for the sake of the review and then tossed in the back of the toy drawer. Boy, was I mistaken! My man came up with the brilliant idea to leave the balls in during oral and anal sex. The Smart Balls significantly enhanced the experience for me. Significantly.
The fact that the toy is ridged and weighted led me to believe that the cord would need to be pulled to move the balls and cause the vibrations. However, that's not the case. The toy works phenomenally well if it’s just inside you. Or, as my man thankfully figured out, you can get a lot of enjoyment from subtle movements of the cord.
Imagine that you are just teasing the cord and tap it gently from one side to the other. Or guide it slowly up and down. You don’t need repeated movements here since the vibrations respond to light, sporadic touches. And, no pulling or tugging of the string is required.
I inserted the toy without lubricant, although I appreciate that might be uncomfortable for some women. If you need to use a lubricant to insert the Smart Balls, use a water-based lubricant, rather than a silicone-based product. Since the Smart Balls are silicone, silicone lube might cause the product to melt. (Maybe that won't happen, but why risk it?) The Smart Balls can be cleaned with mild soap and water or a Toy Cleaner such as Lotus Blooms' Pjur Med Toy Cleaner.
Once the Smart Balls were comfortably inside of me, my man focused on my clitoris with his tongue and occasionally touched the cord of the toy. During anal sex, the thrusting motion allowed the Smart Balls to vibrate enough to provide added G-spot stimulation. The vibrations were subtle, effective and not distracting at all. I found oral and anal sex to be much more intense and orgasmic than I was used to, and I directly attribute that to the toy. My man didn't feel the vibrations against his shaft, but he agreed that the anal experience was stronger with the toy filling my pussy.
After removing the Smart Balls, I noticed how pronounced my G-spot was. Three hours later, I still had increased sensitivity in that area. (For those of you who are still trying to harness the power of your G-spot or clitoral legs, you might find this toy to be very useful.)
Smart Balls can be used without stimulation to strengthen the pelvic floor muscles and help with Kegel exercises. The toy is highly recommended for postpartum women, although you should check with your doctor before inserting a toy into your vagina after delivery. And, as I learned, Smart Balls can heighten your enjoyment of oral and anal sex.
For straight women looking to bring something new into the bedroom, your man shouldn't find anything intimidating about the Smart Balls. There’s also the advantage that the toy requires very little effort. No batteries, charging, or operation required. You can insert the Smart Balls inside and neither you nor your man need to do much else.
I also found the Smart Balls to be a great addition to my normal sexual mix. Bullets or small sex toys rarely stay in place. And, traditional vibrators are often too big to feel comfortable – let alone erotic – when inside your pussy during anal sex. The Smart Balls were just right.
Some sex toy websites indicate that the balls can be used anally. Please don’t do that, though! Shanna Katz, a Sex Educator with Fascinations, explains why the balls aren’t medically safe for anal use.
Smart Balls retail for $30.90. Given how versatile the toy is, I found that price to be reasonable. I would much rather have more orgasms than 10 grande soy lattes anyway!
I was skeptical about Smart Balls, but I stand corrected. I expect this toy to be a regular part of my sexual routine. Thanks Fun Factory!
How much did I like the toy? The day after I used it, I purchased the toy as a birthday present for one of my girlfriends. (Now, that’s a gift worth giving!)
How do I rank the Smart Balls Teneo Duo against my Squeals of Approval Chart?
City Girl’s Squeals of Approval Chart:
1 Squeal: Bad. This toy is not worth your money. Do not pass go! Do not pay $2, let alone $200.
2 Squeals: Slightly Sub-Par. You won’t hate this toy, but you won’t necessarily like it either.
3 Squeals: Average. This toy might not be the most innovative or satisfying, but it serves its purpose.
4 Squeals: Very good. A strong sex toy with minimal negatives that will be part of your regular line-up.
5 Squeals: Great. No toy does it better!
The Smart Balls Teneo Duo gets a coveted five-squeal ranking! Yes, it’s that great a toy! Buy and enjoy! xoxo
Note: Pursuant to FTC regulations, I received this product free of charge in exchange for my participation in a survey at the AASECT conference.
Welcome "City Girl" to Lotus Blooms
YES....She has arrived...Welcome City Girl to Lotus Blooms.
The passionista and advisor to many is now our guest product reviewer and blogger. Who is she? What is the fascination with the blogger? Ahhh...check out her bio in our news and events section for more information.
We are pleased to have her and look forward to her "pearls of wisdom" and whimsical style.
Check out her 1st blog simply entitled "Lotus Blooms"
Photo Credit: Patrick Onofre Photography
Dr. Ruthie's Blog for June 1: Exploring Intimacy
June’s Sexy Contest: Explore Your Fantasies with Kink Academy & Dr. Ruthie
"The heat of summer is here, and it’s time for you to start exploring your steamier fantasies. Need a little help learning how to work with your rope, seduce your sweetie into taking control, or entice your lover into a bit of role play? Then this is the contest for you!
Last month’s contest with Babeland was so much fun that I’ve decided to offer another fantastic opportunity to win sexy prizes for July.
This month I’ve joined forces with the luscious KinkAcademy for an incredibly kinky prize package for one lucky winner! Seriously, this is one heck of a great package and you can enter to win up to three times. Keep reading for all the juicy details on our kinky prizes and how you can win!"
Save the Date: June 17th Happy Hour
Due to popularity of workshops, tickets must be purchased in advance. $20/per person. Call store to charge over the phone or stop by and reserve your spot today!
Wine and cheese served during event.
Bloomies in the City AFTER PARTY gets bigger, Bigger and BIGGER!
Success In The City hosting the Sex In the City 2 movie premiere and after party at Bloomingdale's. Lotus Blooms is one of the proud sponsors and we have put together an amazing "Samantha Package" to be raffled. The movie is sold out!!! Yet, YOU can still attend the party afterwards! Check out www.successinthecity.org for details. Come shop and indulge!
Where
Bloomingdale's
Tysons Corner Mall
8100 Tysons Corner Center
McLean, Virginia 22102
When
Friday, May 28, 2010
--
10:30 AM to 02:00 PM
Jimmy Choo shoes, HBO, NYC, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and Mr. Big baskets, or how about any of our other fantabulous prizes waiting to BE WON?!!!
Even if you didn't make it to the movie you can still
purchase an after the movie ticket to join us at the After Party.
How cool is that?
Purchase your raffle tickets by clicking on our registration button below or at our Big, big, big movie event and you will have a chance to win a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes, an HBO, NYC, Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and Mr. Big basket as well as many other prizes yet to be announced. The best part is THERE'S NO NEED TO BE PRESENT TO WIN!!! When you purchase your raffle tickets online or at the movie, you will be entered to win one or more of the many fantabulous prizes.
Sign up now because you won't want to miss out on this bigger, bigger, BIGGER event!!!
Member - $15
Non-Member - $25
Raffle Ticket 1 for $5
Raffle Tickets 5 for $20
Thursay, May 20th Sexy Happy Hour
Call Store at 703.525.8225 to reserve your spot. We look forward to seeing you! Lots of new items and discounts!!
Hit the Spot April 29 - 6:00 pm with Dr. Ruthie & Lotus Blooms
Yes, the G Spot is real and Dr. Ruthie is coming to Lotus Blooms to help you enjoy it by yourself and with your partners! The G Spot is just one of four special spots for women, and gentlemen have their own P Spot to enjoy. You’ll learn about all of these and more, so bring your friends and leave with lots of inspiration! Arrive early to shop with Dr.Ruthie at 5:30 pm, then join us for the workshop at 6:00 pm sharp. This event is open to all genders, sexualities, relationships and singles.
Tickets are $20
Reservations are required
Call (703) 535-8225 or visit Lotus Blooms for tickets.
Complimentary Intimacy Enhancement Consultation with Dr. Ruthie
Dr. Ruth Neustifter has reserved a limited number of April consultations just for customers of Lotus Blooms. Arrange your free, confidential appointment now at www.ExploringIntimacy.com
Find New Pleasure Personal Sexuality Education and Relationship Coaching with Dr. Ruthie
Sexuality is your most intimate form of body language in your relationship with yourself and others. You deserve a life filled with pleasure, joy and eroticism. Now is the perfect time to begin exploring intimacy, regardless of your past experiences!
*Find your sweet spots
*Discover your orgasms
*Enhance romantic communication
*Understand sexual messages
*Energize recovery from past relationships
*Add new fantasies to your relationship
*Gain dating skills
*Learn new sexual skills and savvy
*Increase your comfort with your body
*Adapt to body & relationship changes
*Incorporate new relationship styles
*Go beyond magazine tips with your own private sex and relationship expert
Dr.
Ruth
Neustifter
is
a
recognized
relationship
expert
specializing
in
sexual
communication
and
education,
as
well
as
recovery
from
intimate
partner
violence.
She
works
with
a
diverse
range
of
individuals
and
relationships
around
the
country,
and
is
now
available
for
sessions
at
Lotus
Blooms.
Schedule
your
private
session
with
Dr.
Ruthie
today.
Appointments
are
90
minutes,
at
a
fee
of
$150
for
individuals
or
relationships.
Make your reservation right here at Lotus Blooms!
Learn more about sessions with Dr. Ruthie at www.FindNewPleasure.com.
Coaching and educational sessions are not a replacement for licensed health care.
February Workshops at Lotus Blooms 2010
Lady’s Night Out for Valentine’s Day
Shop with Dr. Ruthie from 5pm, Workshop 6:00-7:30pm
February 14, 2010
Call your girlfriends and make plans to join Dr.Ruthie for an evening of relaxation and pampering just for us ladies! Lotus Blooms’ lovely atmosphere will help to set the mood for this workshop as you experience softly guided meditation, then learn intimate tips for discovering yourself when you get home. There will be also be extra time for answering your questions at this workshop. Romance is an important part of our lives, regardless of relationships or singlehood! Dress comfortably and celebrate your feminine sensuality with Dr.Ruthie. Arrive early to shop with Dr.Ruthie at 5pm, then join us for the workshop at 6:00pm sharp. All women are welcome. Reservations are suggested to ensure your seat.
Sexy Whispers: The Pleasures of Dirty Talk
Shop with Dr. Ruthie from 7pm, Workshop 8:00-9:30pm
February 20, 2010
Delight in the art of sweet nothings and erotic utterances with Dr.Ruthie during this workshop on the naughty side of romance! Whether you’re shy or bold, you’re sure to find the perfect ways to develop your own exciting language with your lovers. Dr.Ruthie will guide you through techniques for using modest and exotic language for seduction, with lots of discussion of how to introduce dirty talk to your partners with love and respect. Arrive early to shop with Dr.Ruthie at 7pm, then join us for the workshop at 8:00pm sharp. All couples, individuals and friends are welcome. Reservations are suggested to ensure your seat.